We are thinking, that, perhaps, this disease could have started with mom years ago!
Not really, but we all remember the "Endust Incident!"
Many years ago, one evening, when we were young, mom was making her famous meatloaf. As we all sat down for dinner, we noticed that something was very different about the meatloaf. We didn't dare to say anything, we just ate the meatloaf, cleaned our plates, and carried on. Come to find out, as mom was reaching above the stove to grab the Pam, she some how grabbed the Endust instead to grease the pan.
We later found out the secret ingredient to the different tasting meatloaf. There is speculation that mom knew, but didn't tell us...
We will never know...
:)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Moments with Mom
I was thinking, through all the hard times, through all the good and bad, I have to remember the sad, but happy Moments with Mom.
My mother, my hero, my mentor, has Alzheimer's disease. The most intriguing disease, facinating how it works, but the outcome is devistating. Devistating on the person who suffers from the disease, at this point, my mom, and for those whom surround her-our huge family and friends.
I had a Moment with Mom last night. She is always saying, "Heidi, can I talk to you?" Followed by a sigh in my mind, but a happy thought in my heart (she still knows who I am and my name-Praise God!). And, she usually forgets, however, I still listen. My moment last night was hard, sad, yet spiritual. It was so amazing to see God bring out the best in me to encourage my mom to keep going. I told her what her mother told her, to take things one day at a time-even one moment at a time. I told her that her Heavenly Father is not ready to bring her home, that, unfortunatly, he's taking her one process, one memory at a time. He has a plan for us, and he's not ready to fullfill hers. As I hugged her, fighting back the tears, I told her I loved her, and that I wanted her to stay on this earth as long as God would allow. I asked her not to leave me, because I can still love her, touch her, and see her. I also told her what she told me one time. She told me that when things happen to me, it's to make me stronger. How do you tell a person, suffering from Alzheimers, that it's ok, that it's going to get better-'cause it's not. It's going to get worse. As I told her, just Trust in God, and Trust in your loved ones, we are here to help you mom, not to upset you. We do this out of love, for God, and for your, our Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Sister, Friend. As I tried not to cry, as I'm trying not to as I write this, I had to be strong. I haven't broke down for quite some time. I held up as long as I could, and when I left and went to the car, I broke down.
She's confused about dad retiring, about the medicaid services, and she's SO worried about food and finances. I think it's great she's worried about food and finaces, 'cause Mom has ALWAYS worried about that. She used to always say, especially when we had unexpected guest, "we are not going to have enough food to feed everyone" And, miraculously, we did, we even had leftovers. I'm seeing this come through in Randy, my baby brother. He loves to and is a great cook, and he does the exact same thing, and the results too are the same, we always have some leftover.
As I'm thinking about this, I'm sad. Sad that I have to assist my mom with many activities that she can no longer do on her own, sad for her 'cause she knows how to do them, but the process, the memory is gone. Trust me, Trust us, and Trust God. I know it's ok to be sad, to cry, I just want to be strong, for all surrounding me, and for my mom, who can no longer advocate for herself, though, she does try.
I also think of the lessons I'm learning. Mostly, that I can accept and take on responsibilities that I never thought I would, or could do. I know that "if God will lead you to it, God will lead you through it." I have learned that I am a woman of steele (I just LOVE superman and the supergirl symbols), however, even steel can be penetrated. I've learned respect, and even how to be a caregiver for two elderly parents. Thouh my mother may not be here when I have a child, she may not be able to stay with me, to show me how to clean the umbilical cord, to burp, to change the diapers, to bathe, to dress, I sure have a great idea how, and a great start. with a large family, my education, and my job. I have the tools, but not yet the oppurtunity for my own "hands-on" experience.
I've learned teamwork and sacrifice. That we all can't do it on our own, that we need to and have to work together, and every single one of us are giving up something to help out our parents in their time of need.
The tears are slowing, but will never completely go away.
I love you Mom.
My mother, my hero, my mentor, has Alzheimer's disease. The most intriguing disease, facinating how it works, but the outcome is devistating. Devistating on the person who suffers from the disease, at this point, my mom, and for those whom surround her-our huge family and friends.
I had a Moment with Mom last night. She is always saying, "Heidi, can I talk to you?" Followed by a sigh in my mind, but a happy thought in my heart (she still knows who I am and my name-Praise God!). And, she usually forgets, however, I still listen. My moment last night was hard, sad, yet spiritual. It was so amazing to see God bring out the best in me to encourage my mom to keep going. I told her what her mother told her, to take things one day at a time-even one moment at a time. I told her that her Heavenly Father is not ready to bring her home, that, unfortunatly, he's taking her one process, one memory at a time. He has a plan for us, and he's not ready to fullfill hers. As I hugged her, fighting back the tears, I told her I loved her, and that I wanted her to stay on this earth as long as God would allow. I asked her not to leave me, because I can still love her, touch her, and see her. I also told her what she told me one time. She told me that when things happen to me, it's to make me stronger. How do you tell a person, suffering from Alzheimers, that it's ok, that it's going to get better-'cause it's not. It's going to get worse. As I told her, just Trust in God, and Trust in your loved ones, we are here to help you mom, not to upset you. We do this out of love, for God, and for your, our Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Sister, Friend. As I tried not to cry, as I'm trying not to as I write this, I had to be strong. I haven't broke down for quite some time. I held up as long as I could, and when I left and went to the car, I broke down.
She's confused about dad retiring, about the medicaid services, and she's SO worried about food and finances. I think it's great she's worried about food and finaces, 'cause Mom has ALWAYS worried about that. She used to always say, especially when we had unexpected guest, "we are not going to have enough food to feed everyone" And, miraculously, we did, we even had leftovers. I'm seeing this come through in Randy, my baby brother. He loves to and is a great cook, and he does the exact same thing, and the results too are the same, we always have some leftover.
As I'm thinking about this, I'm sad. Sad that I have to assist my mom with many activities that she can no longer do on her own, sad for her 'cause she knows how to do them, but the process, the memory is gone. Trust me, Trust us, and Trust God. I know it's ok to be sad, to cry, I just want to be strong, for all surrounding me, and for my mom, who can no longer advocate for herself, though, she does try.
I also think of the lessons I'm learning. Mostly, that I can accept and take on responsibilities that I never thought I would, or could do. I know that "if God will lead you to it, God will lead you through it." I have learned that I am a woman of steele (I just LOVE superman and the supergirl symbols), however, even steel can be penetrated. I've learned respect, and even how to be a caregiver for two elderly parents. Thouh my mother may not be here when I have a child, she may not be able to stay with me, to show me how to clean the umbilical cord, to burp, to change the diapers, to bathe, to dress, I sure have a great idea how, and a great start. with a large family, my education, and my job. I have the tools, but not yet the oppurtunity for my own "hands-on" experience.
I've learned teamwork and sacrifice. That we all can't do it on our own, that we need to and have to work together, and every single one of us are giving up something to help out our parents in their time of need.
The tears are slowing, but will never completely go away.
I love you Mom.
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